Please read the SuperHosts review of this trip
FIRST of all, I am an INCREDIBLE SuperHost. I am thee cats pajamas of hosting.
~ DISTANCE: Most people don't take 1-Hour to walk 6 short blocks... just sayin.
~ RATING: ALL guests before & AFTER Constina, to date, have given nothing but 5-STAR reviews on everything including, but not limited to; cleanliness & location and the property is professionally cleaned between guests.
~ COMMITMENT: As Superhosts, we follow through on ALL commitments, and then some. You can literally SEE our "commitment rate" from Airbnb which happens to be at 100%. Although our complimentary Concierge Services weren't really intended to provide on-the-spot fast food coupon clipping... we scrambled to accommodate when Constina called us from a local fast food franchise they were currently dining in... Unfortunately, she became very upset when, despite our best efforts, we were unable to locate any 'discount coupons' to reduce the check for the burrito which she had already consumed.
~ Watersports ARE FREE. Don't know why you'd imply otherwise. You never even asked.
~ Lizard! Wait.... do they not have lizards in Mississippi??? First, let me say, we (Scott and/or his affiliates) in no way condone the actions of this or any other reptile. Whereby said reptilian may in any way, hinder or obstruct the ability of any guests to freely and willfully frolic or lounge about the South Florida landscape without consideration for their safety, psychological well-being, or risk of violating any federal or international law. That said, should you choose to come to the swamp (Florida), please prepare to encounter VERY LARGE mosquitos, love-bugs, and other flying insects, lizards, snakes, birds, frogs, alligators, iguanas, spiders, sharks, bodies of water, and bar tabs. If you have an irrational fear of anything on this list, please consider Vancouver for your next vacation. Also, avoid Amazon Rainforest if you don't like trees or being wet.
And no, you'll never worry about bedbugs if your host uses all NEW mattresses with a Mattress Encasement - Lab Tested Waterproof, Bed Bug Proof, Hypoallergenic, Antibacterial, Zippered Complete Encasement Cover that Seals and Protects from Bed Bugs, Dust Mites and Fluids. So there's that.…